I feel a bit weird writing this as I don’t know if anyone will read it but – Hello!
Thanks for visiting and reading my first post on my first ever blog! You might be wondering what you are reading and why? I hope so because that’s what I am about to tell you!
Why am I starting a blog?
I’ve always wanted to write – well, for as long as I could remember. I’ve been a big reader for most of my life and when I was growing up I was rarely found without my face buried in a book. I developed an ability to navigate from place to place without looking; moving from my room to dinner, to the car, to school, to sport, completely immersed within the stories that I was reading. During those years, I would write little stories (make that – VERY little stories) and long, generally anguished diary entries – however, it is so much easier to read than it is to write. So my writing never really progressed.
Then the kids arrived (yes, just like that – amazing, isn’t it?? Not quite – but that’s another story) and we were so buried in a life of work, kid wrangling, endless home renovations and from time to time, spending time with others (no, we were not complete hermits) that the amount and depth of reading has diminished over the years. There were times – months, in fact, YEARS, where I read nothing, had no interest in reading, could not mentally absorb the words – the desire for sleep surpassed anything. My younger self would have been amazed – what a contrast from times when I would spend so many nights reading until the early hours of the morning. However, the kids are growing up, I don’t feel as though I am walking around in quite the same fog of exhaustion (thanks partly to weekends and my lovely husband’s kindness in allowing sleep-ins), my love of reading has returned, and my latent desire to write has been itching away uncomfortably.
Why do I feel the need to write?
It has always felt a natural progression – as well as being part of others’ lives, I want to start to express and share my own. But, as I’ve mentioned above, it is so much easier to read than to write – through reading, I can absorb, ruminate, create without any need to create the ideas in the first place, or fear that I will feel alienated through articulating a view that differs from others. So to date I haven’t written anything.
I am find though that without writing, I feel somewhat stunted – I don’t have a vehicle to fully express how I am feeling or what I am thinking. This is particularly the case as life is fragmenting into ever increasing groups (family, husband’s family, long term friends, work colleagues from different settings, mother’s group, kinder friends, school friends – you get the picture). Time with others is squeezed into small components of days or infrequent evenings, often involves urgent but ephemeral issues (coordinating sporting commitments of kids, for instance), and there is less time to spend dissecting and understanding the non urgent but actually more important matters that make life meaningful. In some ways, there is a bit less connection with others – and that’s a bit sad. So I am looking to write to regain the connection to myself, and (potentially, if anyone reads this) with others.
What is this blog going to be about?
Once I decided I want to write, I realised I needed something to write about.
So I thought, and ruminated, and considered, and dwelled on the topic. Dwelled – that’s a good word. Dwellings, or home, or coming home – I kept being drawn back to the idea of my writing somehow linking to this theme.
There are a few obvious reasons. I spend a lot of time at home, I am looking to feel more ‘at home’ personally (I guess, sounds a bit twee but it is true), and as a planner, I have spent so much of my working life looking at the physical aspects of house and home (including three years fully absorbed in how to provide enough housing to meet Melbourne’s growing needs). In my work, it is always apparent that a home means so much more to most people than merely the structure of the building – and I think that is something also worth exploring.
I have a lot to learn. I need to work out how to make this blog look ok, for one thing. I am not sure how to find good images, how people (who will be flocking, FLOCKING I tell you, to this site) can easily comment, and how to ensure I keep the momentum from this one post going. I also need to improve on my writing style – whether the constant interruptions in my writing through parenthesis works (and are dashes or brackets the best approach if that’s the case?) and also how to deal with my obsession with exclamation marks. That’s just for starters.
But so I don’t let these things overwhelm me, I am going to stop here, fiddle a little more with the options regarding presentation and then change the visibility of this post to public. I know there is a lot to improve, but I am relieved to have finally written something!
I hope you can join me on this journey towards home.
PS – I also need to work out how to sign off a post.
PPS – That felt good writing this – I am ALMOST inspired to reattempt to read the novel I took with me to the hospital when my first child was born- and he’s now 9!