Last week, I blurted out my frustrations about where I was heading, and how I was going. I was a little dramatic in the way I worded it, on reflection, but it was really how I felt at the time, and I did feel better after I had articulated and shared my frustrations.
And the response was good – it provided me with some perspective, some of you guys (and friends and family off line) gave me some wonderful support, and the ‘body double’ role my husband is playing kicked back into gear (somewhat creakily – it is a little uncomfortable to have someone reminding you of what you need to do, but it has been helpful).
The main point of I was making was the need to do some grunt work – not for self validation, but to enact what I need to do. That included less time on Facebook, which is my social media of choice. I have made some progress in this regard – not as completely as I had hoped, and need, but I’ve cut back, and that’s to be celebrated.
The other part was to look at the practical changes I can make, at a pace I can manage, to be more satisfied with where I am heading. I need to set structures in place. I need to put some accountabilities in train. I need to allow myself downtime – change is hard, especially when it involves changing habits that have been fed by emotions for a long time, and recovery time is important.
I’ve been making some very small changes (and failing in some other areas, as I adjust to those) – but mostly, I’ve been unpicking how to relax into accepting myself as I am, first. And part of that has been reminding myself that change takes time, slow and steady steps are best, and not everything can be done at once (at least, I find they can’t be done at once). So I thought I’d provide an update (which also gives me an excuse to share this cute little image).
In the last post, I provided a link to Craig Harper’s YouTube video. Today, conveniently (as if he knew I needed to share it on my post, and yes, I am having a bit of a Craig Harper moment), he has summarised some key questions into a handy ‘Ten Fundamental ‘Change’ Questions’ list.
As he stays on his Facebook site (Craig Harper).
‘We all want to change stuff but the question is, where do we start? These are (some of) the no-brainer questions I use with my coaching clients on a regular basis. Feel free to use them for yourself (personally) or with your clients (professionally).
1. What do you want to change?
2. Why do you want to change it?
3. How will you change it?
4. Why haven’t you changed it already?
5. What happened last time (if there was one)?
6. What are your practical barriers?
7. What are your emotional and/or psychological barriers?
8. In relation to your goal/s, what scares you?
9. Are you prepared to do the work and face your fears?
10. What can you do today to create momentum?”
Good, challenging, but not overly complex questions. If they were too complex, I would happily mentally wander through them, overanalysing and successfully avoiding making any change as a result). With these questions as a framework, I’ve been able to identify some barriers to my aims of getting to bed earlier, eating less sugar and moving more, and what is involved in doing the work. And I’ve got to admit to myself, that maybe I haven’t yet been prepared to do the work, in terms of getting to bed, but I need to (everything else centres around it it). But I need to.
So that’s where I am at. It might not seem like a lot of progress, but believe me, it is. And that’s a good thing.
How about you? How are you tracking? What do you find helpful?